Landscaping

My husband and I spent our Sunday afternoon working in our front yard. When we bought the house 8+ years ago, we had grand plans. But this weekend, we made a big mess of our "landscaping" ideas. We planted bushes and built up a small brick wall. We dug up bulbs and weeds. We laid down landscaping fabric to keep out future weeds. We worked ourselves into a tizzy. Of course, my perfectionist mind had bigger dreams. I couldn't stop fixing and moving and digging and planting and and and... When I finally stepped back to take a look, I was displeased...but still happy. It has a long way to go but looks leaps and bounds better than it did. I wonder if God feels the same way about me. Does He dig up my selfish ways and replant me with His love? Does He step back with disappointment because I have so very far to go? Does He still feel happy that I am trying? Does He cross His fingers hoping His love will take root and bloom in me? Will He keep digging up the weeds in my heart, knowing that they will return slowly but surely? Maybe I am looking at it wrong... Maybe I am not the landscape. Maybe my family is the landscape and I am the gardener that He has chosen to care for His them. He has put me in charge of not letting the weeds take root in their hearts. He wants me to feed them with His word and help them learn how to soak up the rays of His love. I pray that I can be a good gardener to His landscape. Here's to showing them how great it is to bask in His love!

Clean-up

Why is it so hard to "clean up"? It is way more fun to make the mess. It's the same for our lives as it is for our kitchen. We spend our time making memories. Then, somewhere along the line, we get off track. We become enthralled with the fun, the laughter, the excitement. We lose site of our life goal, of our purpose. We are entranced with the feel-goods. I know God wants us to enjoy life. But, He also wants us to clean up as we go. If we make a mistake, we are supposed to recognize it, correct it, and make amends to those that we have hurt (especially Christ). If I keep making mistakes without stopping to "clean up," then I will have quite a mess to contend with after all the fun is done. God does not expect my life to be perfect. In fact, He expects all of us to make mistakes. But, He also expects us to clean up after ourselves. He expects us to recognize our messes and deal with them - just like our Heavenly Father should!

Choices

Today, I'm blinded by my choices. Choices that I have made, choices that I didn't make, and choices that I should have made. Sometimes, I cannot see past the everyday to see the big picture. The picture God sees. The picture that really matters. I know I've messed up with some of my choices. But, on the flip side, I've made some really good choices. The choice to marry my husband, the choice to have two beautiful children, the choice that I make every day to try to be the kind of mom that my daughter can aspire to be. I'm not perfect, my choices aren't perfect. God loves me anyways. He knows that, deep in my heart, I truly desire to serve Him. That I want to live out the version of myself that He intended for me to be. And, even when my choices take me down a different path, He can repave the rest of that path to end right where He wants/needs me to be. He loves all of me, imperfect me! ;)